My Article Database: Free Articles for Teaching and Studying English as a Foreign Language in China - by Paul Sparks




 Homepage
 About Me
 Teachers
 Students
 Lessons
 Photographs
 Links
 World News
 ICQ Chat
 Contact Me
 Articles
 
My Article Database:

 

Accounting
Acne
Adsense
Advertising
Aerobics
Affiliate
Alternative
Articles
Attraction
Auctions
Audio Streaming
Auto Care
Auto Parts
Auto Responder
Aviation
Babies Toddler
Baby
Bankruptcy
Bathroom
Beauty
Bedroom
Blogging
Body Building
Book Marketing
Book Review
Branding
Breast Cancer
Broadband Internet
Business
Business Loan
Business Plan
Cancer
Car Buying
Career
Car Insurance
Car Loan
Car Maintenance
Cars
Casino
Cell Phone
Chat
Christmas
Claims
Coaching
Coffee
College University
Computer Tips
Cooking
Cooking Tips
Copywriting
Cosmetics
Craft
Creative Writing
Credit
Credit Cards
Credit Repair
Currency Trading
Data Recovery
Dating
Debt Relief
Diabetics
Diet
Digital Camera
Diving
Divorce
Domain
Driving Tips
Ebay
Ebook
Ecommerce
Email Marketing
E Marketing
Essay
Ezine
Fashion
Finance
Fishing
Fitness
Flu
Furniture
Gambling
Golf
Google
GPS
Hair
Hair Loss
HDTV
Health Insurance
Heart Disease
Hobbies
Holiday
Home Business
Home Improvement
Home Organization
Interior Design
Internet Tips
Investment
Jewelry
Kitchen
Ladies Accessories
Lawyer
LCD / PLASMA
Legal
Life Insurance

Return to Articles about Women

Being Authentically You

by: Jennifer Snyder
I once read a fascinating, but all too realistic, story about a woman who opened her closet door and out tumbled various pieces of sporting equipment and memorabilia.

While these possessions represented the last decade of her life, she didnít realize until putting them all away that she felt no connection to anything in her closet. You see, this poor woman had put aside her own interests for the hobbies of a long line of significant others. Standing before her newly straightened shelves, she recalled relationships with Partner A in the water skis, Partner B in the bicycle helmet, and Partner C with a paintball gun. She asked herself, ďHow could I have given up so much of myself so that nothing in my closet reflects my own interests?Ē

My simple answer is that she had a desire to fit in and be accepted. Itís a pretty safe bet that if a woman wants to become her partnerís ideal mate, she only needs to transform herself into that person. And it happens Ö again, and again, and again.

Still, we wonder, what does this cost her? And, is it fair to her significant other? Maybe, most importantly, we need to recognize that following this plan of action leads her to never finding a true ideal mate.

Like many of my coaching clients, I was raised with the unspoken messages of not asking for too much, and not being too vocal about my strengths. As a result, this upbringing and my need to be accepted after my divorce found me dating men who didnít require much from their partner. At the same time, they didnít offer much, either.

If you were looking for your ideal partner today, would you really be interested in someone whose only goal was to become your vision of a good mate? Would you want to spend time with someone who presented himself one way, but after the curtain was drawn, you saw something much different? Whether the person is a significant other or a female acquaintance, isnít this image a little unsettling?

I donít believe most women are trying to fool a mate with smoke and mirrors, but I do fear that many transform their lives to match their partnerís because they donít yet know who they are, what their likes and dislikes are, or how to measure their goals and values.

A staggering number of women in my divorce workshops say, ďIíve given so much to my ex-husband and the family that I feel like Iím left with nothing. I couldnít even tell you my favorite color, or what I want for dinner.Ē My heart immediately goes out to these women because years ago, their words were mine.

Sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places. A few weeks ago, while preparing for an appearance on an Orlando news program, I had to confront my comfortable pattern of downplaying my strengths. In the length of a short guest feature, I had to explain the ways I help women, and why Iím good at my work. This moment was significant for me, and one I will remember every time I find myself wanting to go back to that old habit of not being true to myself.

You can win in relationships and business by authentically knowing and being who you are, using the skills you bring to the table, and having a level of comfort that allows for flexibility and change.

Women shortchange themselves by jumping into relationships before taking the time to fully discover and appreciate themselves. They donít stop to think about the characteristics they desire in a partner.

Are you looking for your ideal relationship?

Surpriseóit all begins with being authentically you.


About the author:
Jennifer Snyder is the author of a self discovery workbook, The Time of Your Life: A Creative Sourcebook for Women. The Sourcebook can be ordered at http://www.timeofyourlifeafterdivorce.com


Circulated by Article Emporium

 

New! Watch Online Articles with YouTube for Free:

 

 

 

 

Click Here to Return to Top of Page